Diplomacy's Daughter

Jynx relaxed into the gunner's chair aboard the Eye Of The Shadow, a ship she had recently contracted to under the captain, a seemingly level headed man named Nadroj. It was barren compared to the other wells she had taken over, but given time that might change. The ship wasn't new, so the seat was already lax and gave under her weight as she leaned back, resting her feet on the weapon's control mount. Beyond the view port the stars went streaming by as they made their way home to Discovery after Elbaz.

Dear Diary,

It's strange, the turns that life has taken. Eric asked me, in private, why it was that I served this rebellion at all. I have been with the Alliance for more than a few seasons by now, so answering that question should have been easy, but it wasn't. Sometimes I think if it had not been for 112 I might have chosen to resign from my post. It's made me think about things since we took off from Elbaz this last time.

Why did I join this rebellion? Mainly, to have a roof over my head, food on my plate…in a more honorable way that I could abide. What else was there to do? I told as much to Eric, not proud that that had been the reason I had originally enlisted but at the time it seemed the only thing to do. How foolish we are when we are young, not that I am not still foolish.

But things have changed over time…skills keep me here to an extent now I suppose. Training up other recruits so that they are able to protect themselves and their comrades…now my research into R.A.G.E Syndrome which needs a cure so that things don't escalate any more than they are already. I could probably do this later thing at home on Barab if push came to shove, but there are people in the alliance who have been working alongside of me on this.

And the thoughts of home….Kalandis…surface in my thoughts from time to time. Especially in light of more recent events. I left it thinking it was broken and I was exiled….now that is closer to the truth. My worries that I won't be able to return home again, and about what might happen there after the last visit.

Ironic is that I left Kalandis because I did not think I had what it took to follow in the footsteps of my parents, could not handle taking up the reins some day. And here I am, a Colonel in the rebellion and now an ambassador on it's behalf. What twist is this? I am still reliant on those around me for many things, because alone I could never accomplish anything. But things are often not as easy going as they can sometimes be, there is no real relaxation, nor neutrality while the war continues. Perhaps this is the reason that we must be sharp and learn to move in stride with the turn of events.

How did it happen that I was the one to speak on Chimera's behalf? I might be angry with my comrades from time to time, but I understand the same can only be true in return. I still d a great many things that they do not approve of, nor ChiChi at times….but that is the only thing to do. Maybe in order to really become a diplomat one needs to experience what it is that you are out to preserve, and maybe the senate would have been better off having experienced the life of a solider so that they had a better understanding. I can't say how many times my line of work has run alongside of those who wish to speak in terms of peace or parlay….and sometimes I think I prefer these terms to in field heavy fire. In field heavy fire seems the easier of the two though.

Who knows what the future yet has in store. Perhaps if things turn in our favor I might be able to go home and keep up the reins and the family tradition, or help someone else incorporate into that seat. Perhaps there will always be a place on Barab….and perhaps in time, Elbaz may need help. I can't be a solider all my life, no matter how much I enjoy my line of work in explosives. Medicine has curved that appetite a bit, as has the knowledge that there is still so much to lose.

Am I growing up?


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