Throughout the years, various Crucible Sector operatives have acquired video footage of the shenanigans of various other Crucible Sector operatives.
20 tons of Shavas gas in a stack pod vs. an ISD
Holo opens to the blackness of space. The sceen pans hastaly to a lone pod of a Stack Ship. As the holo image widens you see the pod tracktered into the Imperial Star Destroyer Abominable. Slowly the pod enters the anterior cargo bay. Voiceover: "Now?" "No, give it a minute." 15 second pause "Ok, now." Sound of a click. A flash of light shoots out of the ISD cargo bay. Seconds pass with little further action, then jets of flame shoot out of portions of the armor. Secondary explosions rack the ship and finely the Abominable cracks in half and brakes apart. Sounds of chearing and self congradulation. Voiceover: "Jynks has got to see this." "Did anyone record this." Seconds later the stars streek into lines as the ship goes hyperspace. Footage ends shortly after.
The Importance of Dodge: New Recruit's Informative Holo with Stinky the Stun Course Jawa!
Clip begins with a Jawa stepping out of an engine room, a bright blue flash and loud popping noise. In slow motion the Jawa falls flat on it's face. For a few momments the Jawa is prone on the ground, then prodded awake by and R2 unit in the entrance of the room beyond. The Jawa rises, and a slur of curses in Jawa follow suit, the only distinguishable word being JYNXIE! Footage continues with the Jawa's pathetic attempt to dive to a safe corner (again in slow motion) only to land on the same pressure plating and pass out.
Third try to make it to safty seems solid, then a gun swings out from a ceiling panel and the Jawa dives into a broomcloset opposite. After a short span the Jawa emerges with something dangling from the hems of it's robes, and (in slow motion) takes a stun bolt in the chest and goes down. Jawa is awakened by two polishing droids with My Little Taun Tauns strapped ontop. Jawa screams for help and chucks one droid at a second gun at the end of the hall. Then the Jawa chucks the second while dodging in the opposite direction, missing the stun bolt and disappearing behind some crates.
Camera pans to an image of the Jawa bunkered against some crates, taking note of something below the camera. Jawa proccedes to all out run toward the exit, as blue bolts fly out from below camera angle and pressure plates go off.
Video ends with Jawa diving out of ship.
*Note:This footage is now widely available through the alliance. Anyone who would like a Stinky The Stun Course Jawa delux package (including a copy of the video, your own Stinky The Jawa weeble wobble, and T-shirt)please contact Major Reon Vo ASAP. Supplies are limited!
Sara Starsider Low-G Skipping
Assigned to distract the security guards at an office building, Sara skipped cheerfully down the street in a catholic schoolgirl outfit on the low G planet, each skip around 5-10 feet long, and skipped right up to the security guard out front of the building. The camera view is a security camera from behind and to the side of the guard. She very innocently asks directions to the Ambercrombie and Syth store and keeps getting the directions the guard gives mixed up while bouncing and jiggling around giving the camera great angles for about 45 min. Then there is a splice and it looks like it is repeating the same thing, but the street is slightly different, it is a different guard, and now she has a yo-yo and is chewing bubble gum. In the second section there is one point where the yo-yo gets away from her and she has to turn her back to the camera and guard to bend over and pick up the yo-yo. Both sections after she starts asking directions, the camera seems to zoom in on her and stay focused on her for the entire time.
Jynxie blows the head off an AT-AT
Official version of the holovid starts with Jynxie standing at the rear corner of an imperial shuttle poseing for the camera with a huge smile on her face (helmet off) with an AT-AT standing farther back peeking over the wall of a military looking compound firing into the compound, she is asked to say Bantha Cheese by a female voice behind the camera, then Jynxi proudly presses the button on the detonator in her hand as several things happen at once. 1. The landing ramp directly behind Jynxie opens to have a squad of stormtroopers march out and 2. the head of the AT-AT is blown away by a huge explosion that seems to be centered at the top of the head and fills the entire view behind the shuttle before releaving the AT-AT standing with a smoking hole where the head used to be, and the wall is now shorter as well.
The Fen bel Iblis / Corbin Maxx Throwdown
While creating a distraction through entertainment, bel Iblis takes a bet to take down 10 men in 10 rounds. After succeeding in this task in 8 rounds, associate Maxx is dared by fellow associate Jou'dahn Areithro to be man #11. bel Iblis quickly gets Maxx in a headlock and then proceeds to 'atomic noogie' him into unconsciousness before the end of the 10th round.
A show with great intergalactic flare! Watch as a Wookie juggles 3 Jawas performing other various routines and tricks with the airborne Jawas! Not enough action for you? Well then watch as the high rollers shoot the Jawas with paintballs as they fly through the air! And yes, they do have repeater versions of these weapons! No Jawa is safe - not even the Stinky one(s) backstage from being pelted by paintballs!
When Jawas Attack
Video begins with Jynx sitting in the cargo Bay of the Technicality inflating Jawa Weeble Woobles and laughing. Crash and Taylor are in a seperate corner of the hold eating popcorn and watching with amusement as ChiChi comes barreling around the corner only to come face to face with 50 'Jawas'. As he was running so fast he bumps into a few, which sway backwards and careen into the Squib, creating a static charge that makes his fur stand on end. Then the Squib proceeds to blast through some of the 'Jawas' only to have Jynx begin rubbing one of the inflatables against his fur to creat more of a charge while laughing. Camera pans to Crash choking on popcorn from laughing so hard and Taylor laughing and squirming around trying not to wet herself.
Then the Squib demonstrates his 'martial arts' by returning to the cargo hold with a decksweeper. He turns one of the weeble woobles around so the back is to him, then begins sneeking towards it. He shoots it with the decksweeper and pounces on the back. Resulting fight as the 'Jawa' hits the Squib: ChiChi play fights with the wooble, letting it get the better of him while saying "Look at me, I'm Kas'tor" then falls prone on the ground and murmers something about waffles. Video then ends as Taylor runs past in the direction of the refreshers.
Attack of the Pink Pirates?
Video clip looks over a darkened base of some sort. Suddenly an explosion errupts and the camera pans to follow the wake of what seem to be missles sailing high up into the air. With a loud blast the sky errupts in a hot pink and white blaze as a symbol of a squib skull with a cross bone and screw appears in the skies. Giggling ensues and as the immage in the sky begins to fade a second explosion errupts as a munitions building burts into a wall of flames.