Jedi Diary Entry 5

Entry #5 – It’s good to talk freely

I arrived back and Fen was waiting in the hangar bay. Seems between his bacta dunk, debriefings and other work and my odd ball assignments around the fleet fixing and inspecting droids and filling out paperwork, we kept missing each other. He seemed to be sorry that he had not been able to be the first to inform me of the bounty.

We had a long overdue talk. Fen mentioned that he had noticed that I was spending too much time alone and now I realize he is right. I was essentially alone for 2 months on Tatooine and the last few missions I have been assigned to teams with a lot of new recruits. Or when I was assigned with people I know, there is never the opportunity to speak in private or they don’t know. For all intents, I have been alone. Add to that my assignments when I am with the fleet and that almost all of those who know my secret have been gone, that’s a formula for depressive loneliness.

We discussed a lot of things; there was a lot to catch up on. He gave me information on the Corellian Jedi traditions. The main basics are the same but unlike temple Jedi, they believe in family and marriage having lived in clans. And there are the usual warnings about extreme emotion. I guess if you are forewarned and can prepare yourself, some attachments to others can be dealt with; not so much the attachment but the inevitable loss and grief, like what I experienced while on Tatooine.

Fen gave me a gift, a medallion that is a traditional gift from Master to Padawan on Corellia. But the biggest gift he could have given me was calling me his little sister. I know I must be careful with such attachments but I realize it is equally dangerous for me to be lonely.

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