Jedi Reflection

Log entry.

I have been thinking about the Jedi lately. Something Fred Slick mentioned - Do I think the Jedi council will ever reform. I chewed off his ear a little more than I think he had anticipated - but it seems to be a sore issue with me.

There are no Jedi to train us. Anyone using the force pretty much uses it in the shadow of the great memory of the jedi. An image, and epic tale we can never live up to until we are dead.

Even so I have been reflecting on the actions and rules of the Jedi. Their lot in life to interfere only when needed. Wise. But only wise if you control an organization so large as to handle things when they spin out of control.

Now is different. There is little time to wait and watch things get worse. Perhaps Jedi arrogance that they could always handle things at the last minute is part of the reason we are in the mess.

Stinky. I have seen what being a Knight has done. Stinky now is more constrained than ever. Always looking over it's shoulder, always wondering if the master's will approve. Before any action, a pause, calculate the choices, thinking about the reproving stares of master and then action.

I can't afford to lose my freedom. I must be capable of action. I can't be a Jedi because I want it too much. I would be afraid to lose that title, the connection to something so important and respected. I would second guess myself out of action. I would weight each choice with the fear of a disappointed master. Maybe I am just fearful I am not good enough.

No, I can't follow that path.


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