Lab Log 2

It was nice to visit T'Thock's grave with Squibie and Taylor. After recent events it was nice to have that momment of calm. In a way, I envy T'Thock and his peaceful respite in eternity…

Squibie was sound asleep in the bed. It felt odd to have some one smaller than myself spooning me, but at the time I had been too stressed out and upset to really take notice. ChiChi really was what I needed most at times, and my heart seemed to hurt less as he wiped the tears away. He didn't stirr at all when I got out of bed and crossed over to the door when the bell rang. I had asked earlier that day to see Xakon, and now LX had come to see me to his master.

We went to the gardens, and my spirits seemed to lift a little as I entered this untouched place. Xakon walked out from behind one of the many hedge walls and together we walked for a while through the foliage. Controlling my emotions was like trying to catch the wind in a net, and from time to time I gave in to crying. After a while I attempted to shake myself out of the gloom and began telling Xakon some of the things that had been going on in my life. My heart panged as I related recent missions and the troubles I faced. As I spoke my tension seemed to ease, as if I had fallen into a lull. Xakon listened, ocassionally commenting until I grew silent for another span.

He's become like a father to me, I have come to notice. My provider and caregiver, my friend. He has always shown patience and kindness, but he has always listened and never been harsh or judging. My own father was stern and had little time for his daughter…untill I went to the academy that was.

He began pointing out certain plants, understanding my recent delving into botany and such, and telling me about some properties I might find promising. It was then we rounded a corner, bringing us into the very heart of the garden labyrinth. I stood silent for a while, my eyes taking in the expanse of lavander grass carpeting a small area of the ground. The sample I had gifted to Xakon had been a small one that, despite my best efforts while enroute, had begun to wilt. Now it seemed more lush and vibrant than it had on Dantooine.

Xakon told me how hard the little plant had been to cultivate here, and how much he had appreciated the gesture. I wasn't prepared for what he had to say next, and despite my best efforts I couldn't hold back the tears.

He had told me that it must have been difficult for me, not really having anyone to care for me untill recently. He seemed to understand the problems I was facing, and my need to get away from everything that had taken place of late. I knew that in a ways the garden was mine, like the lab he had given me. He told me that he wanted me to take care of the gift I had brought him, to visit it as often as I could and care for it's wellbeing. I merely nodded that I would, mustering enough reserve to tell him that I would always keep an eye out for anything I thought he might like. It seemed important for me to do so, and I felt regret when at last our time drew to an end, and he took leave of me. In that respect, he reminded me very much of my father.

I stayed in the garden for a while, stretching out on the grass and thinking about the troubles that seemed to explode all around me. The blades were soft and tickled my bare neck and arms, making me think about Squibie and his fur. I had mentioned the gardens to him once before, being surprised he had not known about them before hand. When he asked me where it was I felt a ping of jealousy at the time, not wanting to share this refuge with anyone else just yet, nor wanting to know that Xakon might meet others here aside from myself. I had given him backwards directions and he hadn't found the place. A smile curled on my lips, he probably thought I didn't know my left from my right.

After a while I left my quiet refuge and made my way back to the pad. Squibie was still sleeping, but he stirred awake as I snuggled back up to him, admiring the feelt of his fur against my skin. He wiped an errant tear off my cheek with his finger and I pulled him in closer. His eyes seemed so sincere as he studdied my face.

"I really do love you," I whispered.

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