My Dangerous Mind

Log entry

I am sacred. I have never been in so much danger to others before.
Why did he tell me! I was NEVER supposed to know THAT.

Once some one suggested that force user should have to carry suicide pills in case of capture. I was disgusted by the idea, repulsed that we were such an inflection. Our torment was such an inconvenience to the rest of them. To think us being tortured out of our mind was just a crappy day and something they did not want to do….. kind of like a visit to the doctor.

What will I do if Vandin asks again? I can not lie to him. This places me at odds to keep secrets between people that are supposed to trust each other beyond all. I will not tell a secret that is not mine to tell, but I hope that fortune favors me in that Vandin never asks.

The knowledge I have, EVERYTHING I know, years of service have given me too much to protect in secrets. Who force users are, the tech I know but lied to hide … from hutts of all things. I am a danger to so many people, people I love and would protect above all others. It is too easy to take me, I know that, Jynx and Vandin chide me at fighting but I am no good at it, not like them. My My best defense betrays me as a jedi and just makes them redouble……. W the effort to capture me if they have their mind set on it. No matter how I cut it, I am the weakest one out of the family, I could not best any of them. My best defense make the other side work harder and I am poor at other method of defending myself. Oh, for an easier time where I would not have to hide everything.

I don't want to die. But if I ever get taken, if a bounty hunter comes for me….. I don't think I will be able to stop them. Death may be the option that protects so many more.

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