My Rules Of Acquisition

D’Abu’Da’s Rules of Acquisition

1. Once you have their credits, you never give it back.
3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
6. A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for credits.
16. A deal is a deal… until a better one comes along.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Sullustans.
18. A Sullustan without profit is no Sullustan at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23. Nothing is more important than your health… except for your credits.
27. There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28. Whisper your way to success.
31. Never insult a Gentlebeing’s mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
40. She can touch your jowls, but never your credits.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than yours.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as credits. Treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65. Win or lose, there’s always Lum and Spice.
74. Knowledge equals profit.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of credits.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79. Beware of the Jedi greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94. Females and finances don’t mix.
95. Expand or die.
97. Enough… is never enough.
98. Every man has his price.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, but credits last forever.
103. Sleep can interfere with your lust for credits.
104. Faith moves mountains… of inventory.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
109. A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
111. Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss’s sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of credits.
125. You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.
139. After you’ve exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it’s easier to exploit them next time.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There’s nothing wrong with charity… as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
168. Only fools sell wholesale. (See Rule #141)
177. Know your enemies… but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their credits.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
192. Never cheat a Barabel… unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
194. It’s always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is the answer.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them.
214. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217. You can’t free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you’re buying.
223. Time, like credits, is a highly limited commodity.
229. Credits last longer than lust.
236. You can’t buy fate.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242. More is good. All is better.
255. A wife is a luxury. A smart accountant is a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Don’t let doubt interfere with your lust for credits.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down, everyone’s a Businessman.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

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