Nightmares

Dear Diary,

I don't know what time it is, but I know it's rather late into the evening or possibly very early into the morning.

It's dark here in the ship, and I hear strange noises though its locked down and the only one here is R2. I know it's just being in a new place that's unsettling my nerves because it's happened before. The only light right now is from the bedstand as I write this, my only comfort is Wally The Wampa tucked in tight against me.

I was feeling pretty down earlier as I moved things into the ship, and I left Sara a message asking her if she wanted to come over some time. She is going to in the near future so I'll have to get one of the other rooms prepared for her. Anyways, maybe it's just that I've been thinking so much about the past, and worrying so much about the future…either way I can't fall asleep again.

I had a terrible nightmare about Squibie, and Sara, and the rest of my disfunctional and rag tag family and I don't ever want to go to sleep again. I keep thinking about T'Thock's death and Talon's as well, and maybe it's just my mind being morbid and wondering who will be next. I used to have horrible dreams about my own death from my own hand, waking up all in a sweat over it and crying. I would rather dream those nightmares than these.

I wonder if the others have nights like this…

Anyways, I am awake now, though my eyes threaten to shut at any momment and my hand shakes as I write this. I wonder what Squibie is doing or thinking of all alone in a sea of red silk bed sheets. Does he get lonely too, or is he tougher than that? Maybe we should arrange to see eachother again some time soon, or perhaps I'll send him a comm in the morning.

That reminds me…The black commlink Xacon gave me is in the bedstand next to the holo of my parents. I dread the day it beeps.

And just to be safe about things, I think that in the morning I will set an explosive on this journal to go off should anyone try to acess certain logs. Better to loose my thoughts in writting than the ones I hold dear.

So now it's back to sleep if I can, hopefully the nightmares will go away.

-Reon

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