Stand Your Ground

Log Entry

Trust. Everything comes down to it. We live at the end of the blaster pistol, light saber and deadly strikes. Trust others. I trust others with my life. That was easy, I could believe they would do the same for me that I would for them, it is implied in our being on the same side.

Trust judgment. I find this a harder trust to extend, but I do. I trust ChiChi and Vandin the most. They know me the best. I trust the judgment of others, but their word is easiest for me to accept. I trust the family, they care beyond everything else…..I trust others but still I reserve questions.

My heart. Vandin said this was the hardest kind of of trust, he is right. He is right, finding a person to trust with the easiest part of me to break and hardest to heal. I find great joy is trusting that to him.

Trust yourself. I found myself working on that a lot lately…. when the crowd scream at me I am wrong, but I know that I need to trust my intuition. It can svae lives to trust yourself. To believe that the only voice that pounds in your head of what is right thing to do. My party did not trust me, thought I was wrong about saving a life, Vandin stood by me, but I had to stand the ground on the end. Slik even mentioned leaving me (idle threat). I made them tolerate my whim……. it saved a mans life.

That is the kind of trust Jedi don't have. Chimera. She walls herself off, trusting only her training; not her emotions, not her intuition, not herself. In the minutes you have to make a choice and all the voices are screaming at you that you are wrong, nyou have to trust yourself……. in the end it will save you even if you wrong.

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