The future

Log entry

I have been in this rebellion for years now. I joined out of the academy. I just wanted to raise some hell, get away from authority, adventure, the chance to kick some ass. Over the years I really started to believe in the rebellion. The things I have seen. The misery the Empire has brought to people. Bombing planets, killing millions outright with no cause, torture, imprisonment. They what they want, to whom they want, when they want - with no thought of consequence.

But even so, 12 years I have done this. When I started to believe in the rebellion, really believe, I started to really fight and seek out the embarrassment and downfall of this empire and it's corruption. I started thinking about a galaxy without the Empire and I realize- what would that galaxy hold for me? I have been a rebel forever. I haven't actually been anything else.

I hope to stay in Xakon's good graces perhaps after wards I can work entirely for him. Despite opinion's, Xakon is very decent. The things he has done for the rebellion, for good people, he has never turned a good person in need away in my presence. After this war, should I join him? A military style life has become to familiar, I am comfortable with the idea of disarming a bomb, being shot at and navigating a trapped ruin; but I am terrified of a normal life at an office. The idea of joining an engineering firm and drawing up ship plans actually scares me. Making my own engineering firm also scares me. I don't think I can go back to normal. Will I become the criminal that my friends will have to arrest some day because normal isn't good enough for me?

I wonder what they will do when this war is over. Join the new government? Become leaders of a new republic? Serve at the hand of Mon Mothma, senators of planets? How strange life will be if we all had to be normal, regular people again.

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