The Shadows Closing

Log Entry

I took the long way back from "the mission", it's done, he's away for good. He can't hurt anymore people, no more plans to stop, no more kidnappings of people, no more torment.

It ended quietly. I thought it would be harder, maybe I built the operation up in my mind. I guess it's true, money and power don't protect you in the end - only people.

But now it's over I have nothing to spend the hours working on, hyperspace has never been so quiet. It used to be a down time, a time I was sure no would could com me, no one could disrupt plans, I could work….. on projects that should not be seen.

But now, every shadow frightens me. The dark side has been calling to me, chasing me lately. The dark side has won places into my mind, taken me over at times. I can't seem to escape it, I can't control it, I am not strong enough. Vandin brought me back from the whisper in the dark, but only his loving eyes could have pierced that darkness. Afterwards, I begged Vandin to teach me to help me control it, but he says it is not something he can do.

I am scared, I feel like the noose is closing so slowly around my neck, to slow to be seen but I know it is there. Why do dark siders have such easy passage into my mind? Am I tainted? Is it because I do not follow Jedi tenants? Now the dark corners of my ship seem scarier, I can't sleep at night, I can't rest… I don't want to be alone.

Focus Castel

I am making plans to go after Raddich. I need to know why he hasn't placed bounties on me, why there is no confiscate order on my ship. I don't know who I can bring. I can't risk family members they would all be in too much trouble - more than me if caught. So who can I get to help a force user with force user problems?

taylor-downtime

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