While The Squib Is Away

"It's best if you lie down" Taylor said, leading Jynx back to the sofa. Jynx reclined back, Taylor plopped a pillow on the floor beside the couch and knelt at Jynx's side holding her hand. "Ready?" She asked. "Close your eyes…"

Jynx obeyed, shutting out her apartment around her as she lowered her lids, bracing herself.

It hit her as a wave: LIFE. Intoxicating life every where. It felt as if she had been plunged into a pool, more comforting than any other. Refreshing, pulsing….the beating drum of life. It didn't creep into her body, it exploded into her. All thoughts drowned out by the sense of the air…heavy with life…floating on each breath…invading her lungs. Her fingers felt heavy with the sense of it, the air was like silk….. controllable….. she could reach out and pull the strings of reality here.

Eyes closed, she felt as if her lover were caressing her shoulders…tingles down her spine. She gave herself over to it…… let it take her. She had no will; no want to fight it. Complete seduction of The Light Side. She breathed deeply, filling her lungs, peace washed over her body, flooded her, happiness…She felt the sun on her face, she could hear the pulse…the buzz of living things all around. She smiled, drinking it in. No drink she had ever known could intoxicate her this way.

She lets the pulsing beat of life drum into her body, seep into her bones. Prefect: a moment to keep her safe. She notes the happy musing of the insects, the smell of the flowers, the joy of it all in her belly, in her soul…. drowning the sorrow…. it stands little chance against this place.

She hears him speak, "I honestly don't know which is more beautiful…you or this garden…" She can sense the calm in him, the peace. The pain he wears as an armor is gone here. Even his wounded heart, she can feel is opened and calm.

Jynx senses the weight of her own body again. The sensations that weren't really hers fading, dulled by her own body.

"Is there something particular you want to see?" Taylor asks.

For a moment, Jynx lies there, living the feeling. Recalling the first time she made it into the garden proper: the test that Xakon had put her through to earn the right to call it her sanctuary. She had been overwhelmed, it made her heart burst with joy that Taylor had discovered the secret happiness at the heart of Barab.

A tear trickling down her face, so much happiness, so much peace, and love. Jynx listens to Taylor's voice speaking to her as if through 20 ft of durasteel, muted and slow.

She didn't know much about Taylor's life, didn't want to ask, to pry but at the same time Taylor was sharing….she was unsure why but she was.

"Mindor…" she said in a low whisper. "I want to know what Mindor is like for you."

Taylor held her hand….."this will hurt."

Jynx slipped to Mindor. Chimera was walking next to her, Vandin in front. Mryvnn dotting and a step or two behind. She saw the rebel barracks, her eyes closed. Power surged into her body, her teeth grit. Chimera had been so stupid. Bile filled her stomach. She had the power, end it here….. make her pay. She could bring her will forward. Her fingers itched with power, begging to be commanded. The ties of reality begging to be wielded.

The anger flared, red hot, in her stomach. Enough she thought, enough kindness, enough child's play…. as if without effort the force begged her to do it. Raising her hand, power coursing, she she wills Chimera to be thrown…but Chimera, the child, resists….. hate fills her, and quickly recedes.

Guilt, fear…she had been consumed by the darkness. It flowed in and out of her lungs, she controlled the rage, but still it had hold over her. It moved in and out of her lungs like a lovers' breath. She wrestled to hold it in balance…to resist it. Her head lolled to the side as if waiting for a kiss. She was dangerous. She smiled evily… she had power and she knew it.

It was best to leave. She would hurt them… the darkness was filling her and she could not stop it. She was passing the point of no return. A darker world awaited her, without denying her any pleasure, it promised to be her slave if she would but let it consume her. She wanted it.

"I need to go, I am a danger to you all."

"I am coming with you, " Myrvynn tell her.

"Can you handle it?" She responds.I will kill you…I can kill you, you have never seen my full power… always holding back. But now, you don't stand a chance.

"You are important to this mission, and I can handle it.” Myrvynn looks confident.

Dead man she thinks to herself….. your blood will spill.

She looks out onto the flats. It is time to go and see the tree. It will be better without the noise of them.

Taylor pulls back.“I can't show you more, Vandin knocked me out. He could tell what was happening to me. He saved my life."Taylor says a bit exasperated. Her day had been long, and she had had little to eat.

A flush creeps across Jynx's face, her eyes glazed over. She relished the feelings: Taylor's lust for blood, to hurt, to kill.

In her mind she pictured some kind of dark thing moving in the depths of her, relishing the taste for blood, the sound of bones snapping, the feel of life seeping through her fingertips. It was a rare thing: the want to kill, something Jynx had feared for so long. Lately she relished it, but hurting her party…her family…

Something inside of her felt broken. She probed in her mind for what it was, the torture boiling to the surface. So much pain and hurt. She held onto it, savored all the lies she knew about the family, the taste of her own blood in her mouth from biting down on her lip, the want to hurt worse than what she had been made to feel. In her mind she wondered…what did Taylor feel when she killed? Was she numb? Was she euphoric? Jynx thought of all the destruction she had wreaked, of causing a riot and sipping champagne with ChiChi while she watched a town burn itself to cinders….

She wanted more….something deep inside of her had awakened. She reached up, her eyes almost closed, a private smile on her face. She reached up and caressed Taylor's face, softly, the way she liked to have her own face to be touched. "Please, Taylor….show me more…Dark…where do you hurt? Where do you like letting it go…not caring….hurting?"

Taylors mind drifted. Jynx towed along looking for the evil thrill.Her blade purple… whirling in front of her, untouchable. The buzz of it's energy. An alien limb flying, severed, she was invulnerable! The air, it filled her lungs…. it was yellow…..unleashing her. Pure power coarsing……

"No. You're not ready. I wasn't. Death is not a play thing. The dark consumes….. it gives very little for it's price." Taylor is angry with herself for allowing her own thoughts to betray her. "You need rest. You have had too much. When you are ready there is more…. but you need time to shift…. to think.” Taylor's forehead beaded with sweat. She kisses Jynx's forhead. "Close your eyes….. sleep."

Jynx squeezes Taylor's hand in her own, the fierceness of the gesture catching Taylor off guard. Eyes closed and narrowed slightly, pulse racing, a tear streaking down her face, her hazel eyes seem stunning as they open, searching Taylor's face.

What's happening to me? She screams it aloud inside her head.

In a soft pleading tone, she loosens her grip on Taylor, but doesn't let her go. She shudders, her entire body tense, the tears still coming. She lets the feelings of being tortured run through her body, a memory she is unable to purge from herself.

"Please, Taylor, don't leave me yet" an edge of fear in her voice. She closes her eyes, with her free hand she reaches up and grasps her forehead. Anger courses through her, jealousy, curiosity. What was it like to feel that way all the time? To love, to be intimate, to feel life being snuffed out, to experience birth….so many things ran through her head. Could she stand on the brink? What would an explosion be like, to feel it? To really and totally encompass it?

"Taylor…?' She says in a whistful and far away voice…so tired.

"Time. The universe cannot be told to you in one night. But I am here. I am your window.”Taylor strokes her hair with her hand. "All things in moderation. You have been through a lot. I am here, but rest. Be patient with yourself. Understand you need time. Sleep now, sleep….. I will watch over you."

Jynx makes room for Taylor to sit on the couch, relishing the older woman stroking her hair. Her body slowly relaxes, eyes closing.

Fingers through her hair, a kind face smiling down at her. She could remember a time she was afraid of the darkness, a time when Silvie had told her about the stars. It had been when she fell in love with astronomy, the glimmering silver lights.

But beyond in the darkness she felt something looming, something waiting patiently for her. She heard it whisper sweet nothings into the air. But it was too late…she was already trapped.

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